Unhappy

Unhappy - as most of others...
My the most favourite teacher is happy now. Very, very happy and I cannot share that. Because I don't feel like that. I don't feel as happy as I am supposed to be.

Anyway. I guess I just wanted to say that I've been missing something - maybe some contact between two people (though I don't miss a relationship - I guess I am not a dating type..)

And I also miss someone who would be... I guess my best friend. Not the way T. is - although she is great she doesn't understand those things. She doesn't say you are perfect - even though she believes that. She doesn't understand unhappiness. And that is a good thing - and the reason why I can't tell her everything. I can't because she wouldn't understand the way I need.

I cannot say that to Ytam because he doesn't care actually. He cares just because after that he can talk about himself. And because we are his trophies. Something he can swagger with. Someone else who's told him everything in five minutes of talking!

 My sister simply doesn't care and she thinks my problems are stupid for teenagers of my edge. She also doesn't care. And that's all.

Iw is not there for me. She doesn't have any time, I probably don't worth it as I used to do. But that doesn't matter. I still like her very much and I always will. I can promise I always will. Because she is a person I cannot just hate. Or just stop like. I like her and I always will. And I think that will always be my biggest fail. My biggest mistake.
Is it my fault? I haven't done anything... I have just started dating MK. And I am very sorry that it had to end up this way. But I used to like him.

But after him I am unable to move on. Because I cannot stand any other relationship. Because the one before didn't work. I know that and that's the reason I think I'll always be alone. Because I cannot imagine myself with anyone. I don't do relationships. I am very bad at that. And I don't know what I am supposed to do. I really don't know.

Why are those things happening to me? Isn't this enough? Does the God hate me? Or anyone else?

And no one else talks to me.